Can you help Modern Milkman’s Luke?

By Thomas Shaw on the 2nd April 2020

**GIVE LUKE STRENGTH**
READ RIGHT TO THE BOTTOM. NO, RIGHT TO THE BOTTOM PLEASE

We are literally busting a gut to do all we can to help people throughout COVID-19. But poor Luke and his merry band of elves (Customer Service team) are being pushed to the limit. But, with your help, and for just ONE CONTACT PER ISSUE, you can help us to save a Luke.

To the person who wrote in EIGHTEEN times today, please tomorrow spend more time doing PE with Joe Wicks. Bake a cake perhaps. Take up knitting.

We really, really appreciate you bearing with us. During this crisis, you won’t get a response in ten minutes. Sometimes you won’t in the same day. We might as well level with you.

Some of you have nearly brought us to tears with your loveliness. The gifts. The cards. The drawings. You are the people who keep us going. Some of you have nearly brought us to tears for very different reasons.

MISSING ITEMS
Being a delivery service, we want to deliver everything, but at this speed sometimes things are missed. We are working at rapid pace to scale our operation and we’re very lucky to have doubled our staff, including taking lots of people who’d lost their jobs in the last week. That means people have a little more time. We’re also ordering a lot more stock, and if it is a genuine stock issue rather than human error we’ll email you before the event. Please read them. That’ll stop you emailing in telling us what we told you a day ago.

LATE DELIVERIES
We want to get stuff to you as early as we can, but we’re delivering to tens of thousands of homes. If your order isn’t with you by lunch, THEN please email us (unless it’s a fruit/veg meat box…..they come separately in the day at the moment)

CONTACTING US
The problem is, if Mary at number 12 complains 18 times, we’ve to resolve EVERY. SINGLE. ONE of those. So instead, we’re replying to Mary EIGHTEEN TIMES rather than solving 18 people’s problems.

So, for the love of all things Luke. We’d love to reply to your 3 Live Chats, 8 emails, 3 Facebook messages, 2 tweets and 2 phonecalls, but we physically can’t. And don’t think we haven’t tried. We’ve doubled the size of Luke’s Army this week. If Luke breaks, we’re all doomed.

WE CAN’T GET TO THE PHONE
To those who’ve tried to call us. The country is in lockdown. We are working from kitchens, bedrooms and under-stairs cupboards. Luke’s tried to have a phone line fit in his closet, but unfortunately BT can’t come until the threat of them catching a virus that might kill them is over. We’ve some phone access, but not for the volume coming through.

USE THE BEST WAYS
The VERY VERY best way to contact Luke and his army is to email [email protected] or use the Live Chat function. BUT PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEAAAAAASE. ONLY ONE METHOD AND ONLY ONCE. Not both.

Live chat is very busy. It might take an hour to get to you. Please be patient. We will get to you.

We’re doing our very best. Please remember that the beautiful people who work for us are humans too. Please, with your kindness we can all help to save Luke.

People in the world are dying. We are trying our best to support everyone. Please, lets not cry over spilt milk.

Pass me a wine. MM x

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